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I was bored this week so i joined a popular Asian dating website just to pass the time. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to experience. I soon had 150 messages a day coming to my inbox, these women were absolutely relentless. I felt like I had a pack of wolves chasing me. I almost had a heart attack I was typing so fast. I had one woman offer me a luxury car if I would come to her country and marry her, she owned three companies, I declined. I suggested to another lady that at 43 I might be to old for her, she was 19. She was perplexed and informed her previous boyfriend was 52, I was rather speechless at that point. The stereotype of foreign men who date younger Asian women as perverts is simply not true, after several days on this site I was beginning to feel abused myself.

I am not suggesting that these women are in anyway desperate. I have the highest respect for any woman that wants to get married and have family so I commend them for their noble desires. I believe that many of them were sincere, and offered me their phone numbers. If your current girlfriend is not working out, there's a million women in asia that would love to date you. I know, I've already met most of them!

Which popular Asian dating websites was it?

Yes I am curious, what site was that? It's common knowledge that Chinese are very prejudice. Therefore please recall the expression "beware of Greeks bearing gifts."*

*Editor's note: Present company excluded, of course.

Here is my personal experience of one reputable dating website.

I signed up and straight away I was receiving interest from a number of Chinese girls looking for men in the U.S. (I am British working in Hawaii). I met two girls from the website. I was very naive to the whole internet dating thing and it wasn't long before I had become an actor in one of those horror stories you read about.

The first girl was the nightmare Chinese girl we all read about, the one that 'happens to someone else'. Money, green card, sexual issues, bitterness, this girl had it all - what made it difficult and confusing was that she was gorgeous!

The second girl was a totally different story. Honest, kind, loving and beautiful! At first I had trouble believing she was for real - considering my first experience.

I tried everything to catch her out. I told her I was broke, that I could not get her a visa/green card. I emphasised my faults. I did everything I could to smoke her out because I thought she was after something. As it turns out she was after something... me. She loves me for who I am "warts 'n' all" and she is going to become my wife.

I am lucky. I experienced the bad first and got off lightly compared to most guys out there. Then I found a truly good one, a girl who is as beautiful as she is loving.

I wish you all the best of luck... but please make sure you know who you are dealing with.

Thank you for sharing this story and a big congratulations on your success.

I can also personally attest to the fact that Internet dating can and does work—but you really have to be extremely careful, almost paranoid-like, in how you assess the girl’s interest in you.

There are certain safeguards you can take, certain guidelines to follow.

Obviously the first one is the age difference and we even make reference to this in the Guide: an age difference of more than 20 to 25 years is asking for trouble, especially if the girl is no older than 25 years of age. Asian girls, especially, are less sophisticated and mature than their Western counterparts and a 25-year old girl in any culture tends to be fickle and superficial anyway. Of course, I am generalizing here but—as a safe rule of thumb—the younger the girl is, the greater the potential for a scam.

Second, if the girl starts asking you for money before you have even met her in person, walk away. No matter how valid the reason, e.g., It’s my birthday, my apartment was flooded out in the storm, my grandmother needs a liver transplant, if the girl is expecting you to send her money before there has been any face-to-face contact, this is usually (but not necessarily always) a big warning sign.

Regardless of how beautiful you may think she is and sincere she may be, a decent Asian girl will generally not ask a man to send her money until there is at least a commitment to marriage.

PS. If you care to share the name and URL of the dating website you had success with, that would be fine.

I can personally recommend two sites: Date In Asia and Plenty of Fish.

Plenty of Fish is not Asia specific, Date in Asia is centered on Asia as the name suggests. Both are free to use and have good search facilities etc. I met my current girlfriend on Date in Asia and we have been together for almost a year. I also met girls from there who I still talk to on a platonic basis.