Dating, Sex, & Relationships

If I was dating a Chinese woman, how could I tell besides her speaking habits if she was or was never a prostitute (quickly or by first appearance)? Are there any facial expressions they use more commonly? Do they try harder to hide it than regular? Are there any red flags besides what you already stated in the guide?

One of my girlfriends turned out to be and I never would have thought it in a million years.

Thank you for your time.

That’s a tough one.

Aside from the more obvious indications, e.g., better than should be expected English language skills, presence of tattoos and body piercings, increased tolerance to alcohol, and possibly cigarette smoking (especially among girls from the countryside), it would very difficult just to look at a girl and know anything with certainty about her sexual history.

Chinese girls who were prostitutes will be, generally speaking, more “out there.” They will tend to carry themselves with greater confidence to the point of being “cock sure” (and part of that is defensive, for sure, although it is also a byproduct of having learned just how far they can push a man). They will also tend to be, relatively speaking, quick to spend money (or will think very little of asking you to spend money on them) as they are used to receiving money in exchange for favors and having larger than average sums of cash at their disposal.

Most prostitutes learn to become mercenaries over time, assuming they weren’t already that way prior to entering that line of work. They are always looking to see what and how much they can get out of any exchange and seem to maintain a fairly rigid “balance sheet” in relationships (although, generally speaking, the latter is true of most Chinese).

Probably one of the most reliable ways to tell if a Chinese girl has been a prostitute is by assessing her behavior in the bedroom. Most will attempt to act overly inexperienced, to the point of contrived awkwardness, but will then betray that by intermittently proving themselves to be “quick studies” with “natural expertise.” When first asked to do anything sexual that they have done hundreds of times, they will hesitate and sheepishly ask “Do I have to?” In short, the initial degree of feigned inexperience and awkwardness doesn’t jive with the overall degree of skill and comfort displayed in a very brief period of time. If you’ve been riding a bike for 20 years, it is very difficult to demonstrate that you’ve never been on one before. You can try to appear initially awkward and inexperienced, but, over a relatively brief period of time, it will become obvious that you’ve ridden one for years.

Another thing you can do is to ask a trusted Chinese female friend, preferably one who has no romantic interest in you, to accompany you to a dinner along with the girl you care about. Just as you and I can sense things in other foreigners that no Chinese ever could, the same is true of how the Chinese can read each other. An educated Chinese woman will be able to tell if another woman has been or is a working girl from a mile away.

I’m sorry you had that experience. I'm sure it broke your heart.